Hi! So I made it back to you guys with another post! I really appreciate the patience you have all had with the site, it’s been a struggle and a half and every time I thought I had fixed something, it turned out I broke more than fixed. But thanks to a lovely friend of mine who so happens to be a tech genius, we’re on our feet and ready to run! (more like limp, but we’re still going somewhere!)
The last time I wrote, it was essentially my introduction post, which if you haven’t read, I promise you’re not missing much, but you carobably…. hopefully, find on the site. Things here have been extremely hectic, what with trying to sort out Dodson, the holidays, finals, and generally managing my anxiety and everything that comes with it. Here’s to a not so quick, but quick enough update!
In regards to Dodson, we were all worried about the potential need for surgery that would happen, but we were lucky in that the orthopedic specialist determined that what he indeed had was a soft tissue injury in that right back leg. All the bedrest that he has been getting has really paid off! We went for a short trek on campus last week and he absolutely loved it! Unfortunately, they did notice the lameness he has in his legs and we’ll be periodically checking in with him.
In regards to school….
I am extremely extremely excited to say that even though I was unable to attend class for the last four to five weeks of the term, I took my Statistics final and was able to pass the class! This is my first college math class I have been able to pass due to so much workarounds needing to be created in order to give me equal access. (A post discussing accessibility in higher education will be coming soon, hopefully.) In just two short weeks, Dodson and I will be returning to campus for what will hopefully be our last semester at Long Beach City. It’s been good, but it’s time for me to move on. Fortunately, I will be taking the course with my previous professor, who was incredible and willing to work with not only my disability, but the other students’ abilities as well. I’m so excited to start this new chapter and hopefully reach the goals I may or may not have set for myself. The goalposts are always moving, so we’ll see
For the past few weeks while everything was simultaneously going on, my anxiety had been going through the roof. Managing Dodson and all his appointments, trying to keep up in class, and just the general hustle and bustle of my environment had been putting a real strain on me. I worried a lot, and worrying led to unhappiness because I couldn’t relax enough to be able to recharge my energies to give the next day another go. My meds have finally been adjusted to a level that is both comfortable and does well for me, so it’s a lot of balancing I have to do mentally that will make everything perfect. In all honesty, people seem to think that keeping busy will make everything better, when in reality, keeping me busy does nothing but focus my mind on a task so I can worry about the things stressing me out at night when I can’t sleep.
What these past few weeks have taught me is that I’m happier, I do better, I thrive in a quiet environment. I of course enjoy family and friends, but I enjoy having quiet so my brain isn’t always racing and going a mile a minute. It’s important to set boundaries and to listen to your body telling you when it’s had enough. My body has been telling me I needed to slow down for several years now, and I finally am listening. And hell if it isn’t a massive pain/relief. I say no easier, I don’t feel guilty for needing to be alone. I no longer question whether the fact that people don’t see when I get work done means I am lazy. I enjoy the peace and solitude and learning to be okay with that is the first step to making things easier on myself.
There’s your quick update, everyone! I promise there will be more topics, stories, and discussions to be had, but for right now, I’m glad we’re all caught up and on the same page. Stay safe, and remember being a complicated human being is perfectly okay.